As I may have mentioned before, BD is absolutely wonderful. As my Dom and as a person in general.
Therefore, I thought perhaps having his outlook on our Dom/sub relationship would be a great addition to my blog.
Excerpt from my BD:
"I love how proud you are to wear my collar. And while I don't think that totally defines us, I really enjoy the larger part of our relationship that it has come to encompass. As always, I want to stress to you that I do not love you because you are submissive (well, not just because you are, anyway), but it does seem to fit that missing puzzle piece I never knew I needed perfectly. I want you to always know that I respect and appreciate what a huge gift your submission is to me. Those poor vanilla people who can't understand how beautiful and symbiotic our arrangement is are the unnatural ones.
Look at the divorce rate today where "equal partnership" dynamics are the "normal relationship." Compare it to the 50's or earlier when, pardon my turn of phrase but, women knew their place. Women's lib is a wonderful concept, but it's robbed women of their place. Very few are strong enough to take back their role as homemaker, much less to become a true submissive. People mistakenly think a Dominant doesn't respect his submissive? Hell, a true Dominant is in awe of the strength and power his submissive must have to be able to submit. It's not an abundance nor lack of strength that determines which position a person feels best in occupying, it's the direction of the strength. A Dominant is outwardly strong and can comfortably assert his or her strength, while a submissive is more at ease directing their strength towards enduring and sustaining to overcome any obstacles in their path.
It's like a river versus a stone. The river sweeps away anything in its path, eroding new paths and destroying everything it touches. The stone sits silent and unmoving, unable to change its situation or find a new one. Yet when the river meets the stone, the river washes away all the dirt and debris holding the stone down and washes it to where it fits perfectly. In return, the stability of the stone gives focus and direction to the river. Both become more together than they ever could have been apart.
It may be somewhat chauvinistic, but it is the natural order. There is only room for one leader in any relationship. The P.C. bullshit about "equal partners" is a man-made construct that, try as they might, cannot find a place in the natural order. And no, I do not believe that all men are Doms or that all women are subs, or that a male sub or female Dom is abnormal in any way; but any way you cut it, male top or female top, one or the other must have a counterpart. Two tops would just fight over whose direction to take at every decision. Two bottoms would feel directionless. Regardless of gender, hetero or homo, that is the involatile dynamic."
So, as I have said before, BD would laugh at the thought that he does not respect me due to our roles. WE are equal, but our roles themselves cannot be equal because of the differences in our roles. Mint growing in a chef's garden cannot be considered equal to an ivy growing in a flower garden, because, while they are both plants, they are too different from each other for there to be any kind of comparison that comes out equal or unequal. They are each unique and useful in their own way, neither being better or worse than the other because they are not interchangeable. While you would never put some mint in your garden and expect it to grow up your trellis, I sure wouldn't advise you to put ivy in your chocolate pie, either!
Cassaundra (with a collar!)