Here, you will find information regarding some of the lifestyles that fall under the heading BDSM.  This is not an all inclusive guide to every single aspect of the large number of activities that are included, because putting together a list like that would probably turn into a full time job, and I already have one of those.  Any person reading this whose activities or versions of the BDSM lifestyle that I have left out, please forgive me and leave me a comment letting me know and I will do my best to add it in.

For those of you who have never heard of BDSM until you landed on my blog, who are too worried to Google it (since those little gnomes who live in internet land would LOVE to tell all of your friends and family what a pervert you are!), or who are simply curious as to what I might have to say about the subject, please leave me a comment if you have any questions I may be able to answer or if you feel I have made an error in any information I have here.

What does BDSM stand for?

Well, now, you would think that would be a fairly simple question, wouldn't you?  It is a four letter acronym, so it should have a fairly plain four letter explanation.  You know, like LOL=Laughing Out Loud.  ASAP=As Soon As Possible.  BBW=Big Beautiful Woman.  Not so in the case of BDSM.  This acronym actually has a breakdown of three different sets of words, equaling six in total.

BD=Bondage and Discipline
DS=Dominance and submission
SM=Sadism and Masochism

BDSM is an all encompassing acronym for a huge number of different likes, dislikes, fetishes, desires, etc, and as a whole does not describe every person who claims to live a "BDSM lifestyle". Example: A person who is a lover of bondage and discipline is not necessarily a card carrying member of the Dominance and submission club, as well.  While each different section does have aspects that coincide with the others, there are no rules that state that a person or couple who practices one should or does practice them all.  I know that sentence came out a little convoluted, but what it means basically is this:  A person who wants to be tied up and spanked (Bondage and Discipline) does not necessarily identify as a submissive or as a masochist, simply because these actions may seem to be something that would be considered submissive or masochistic behavior.  Of course, because we humans are such a complicated species, it should also be understood that not every person living a "BDSM lifestyle" will actually fall strictly within the boundaries of the two letter acronyms, either.  A person who enjoys being tied up (Bondage) may not want anything to do with the Discipline part of the equation.  Because of this, those who are BDSM virgins and hearing this information for the first time may want to think of it as a much longer acronym:  BDDSSM, as opposed to sectioning it off like I have above.  Although, for clarification, I must say that the previous statement almost always will only apply to Discipline and Bondage.  Generally speaking, for there to be Dominance, there must be submission and for a person to be a masochist, it is best for them to find a sadist.

Definitions: Bondage and Discipline

Bondage: The act of being physically restrained or physically restraining another person.  A variety of materials can and are used for this restraint, and there are a large number of ways to accomplish it.  This is all based on the practicing individuals' likes and dislikes.

Discipline: The act of using various forms of punishment as consequences to not following certain set rules of behavior.  These can be emotional, physical, or many other types of punishments.

Definitions: Dominance and submission

Dominance: The act of having some type of power over another person.  Again, this can be physical, emotional, etc.  This person is referred to as the Dominant.

submission: The act of surrendering an aspect of your power over to another person.  This person is referred to as the submissive.

Definitions: Sadism and Masochism

Sadism: The act of achieving some type of pleasure from inflicting pain on another person.  This person is referred to as a Sadist.

Masochism: The act of achieving a type of pleasure from having pain inflicted upon oneself.  This person is referred to as a Masochist.

Are there rules to BDSM?

Many of the people who practice behaviors within the realms of BDSM are drawn to it simply because it is almost an anarchical concept. The general rules of "normal" society and "normal" relationships are either rewritten or thrown completely out the window.  Whatever is agreed upon by two consenting adults is fair game.  Which brings me to the one and only rule of BDSM.  Safe, Sane, and Consensual.  No matter what aspect of the lifestyle you participate in (or are considering participating in), this rule applies.  The parties must all follow guidelines that they have set themselves to keep themselves safe.  The parties must all be of sound (sane) mind when making their decisions.  And all parties must consent to any behavior that is enacted by them and to them.

What now?

Well, these are the basics to BDSM.  Hopefully they were clear and concise.  Since I do not practice each and every aspect of BDSM, I am not an expert on the total subject and do not claim to be.  Please leave a comment asking any questions I may not have covered, suggested corrections to information I have posted here, or suggestions for any information I have not posted.

Thanks for visiting!  I hope the information you found here was helpful and interesting!

Cassaundra (with a collar!)


  1. I do think another alternative to SSC (safe,sane and consensual) is RACK (risk aware consenual kink) which is what my Master and i tend to adhere to rather than ssc.

    I think one of the differences is that there are some activities within bdsm generally 'edge play' that are considered not safe. There is risk, we are aware of the risks but choose to participate in them anyway.

    Im sure there are some people that wouldnt consider them sane either lol

  2. LOL! I know what you mean, tori. I know there are a lot of people who consider many aspects of my relationship with BD to be "not quite sane"...but it works for us.

    Thank you so much for the information on RACK. I have never heard of this and intend to some research on it once my nephew goes home. Don't be surprised if I have added it to my page tomorrow!

    I love hearing new aspects of people's BDSM based lifestyles. I'd love to hear more from you!