I have been spending the last couple of days reading blogs and learning how others live this lifestyle. While some of those people and I have a near identical vision of our lives, some don't. And that's okay....
But I have noticed that perhaps I have a different outlook on what it means to be a sub than some other subs do....Some subs and their Doms believe that there is no responsibility on the part of the sub for any issue. And that's fine, if they both feel that that is right for them...but it seems awfully hard on the Dom, in my opinion. I do not in any way intend with this post to demean or otherwise criticize anyone else's choices or lifestyle, and I hope no one takes offense to anything said here, because it was not intentional.
I love BD and want him to be happy always....with life, with himself, and with me. We both know that he will make mistakes in this journey, as will I. But I don't understand the mindset that any mistakes that are made are his responsibility. Now, if a mistake is made that he could have prevented or that truly IS his fault, then I have no problem with him taking the full Dom responsibility for that....but if I make a mistake or do something to bring sadness to him, that is not his fault and he should not feel badly for it. Of course, being BD, he will anyway...he will feel that I made a wrong choice because he did not guide me sufficiently into making the right one....or that if I act out, perhaps it is because he is not giving me what I need....and in some cases, this is correct to a point....but it is also because I made the wrong choice or because I chose to act out instead of communicating (which, I have to say, I do regularly, for two reasons: 1. because sometimes it is hard for me, as a sub, to ask for something I need...it is easier to act out and 2. because there is a brat in me who enjoys acting out...and BD loves her and likes to see her on occasion!) There should be blame placed on me, as well.
I have many responsibilities as a sub, in my opinion. Many of those revolve around what I do and how I behave, both in public and in private, for BD, but they also include taking responsibility for the choices I make. Many people outside this lifestyle believe that subs have no choices. Maybe some don't. I do and I feel I should take responsibility when those choices turn out badly...not just when all goes well. After all, that's one of the things a good spanking is for, right????? :-D
During my blog hopping, I found an amazing woman at an amazing blog and want to share something she wrote. I asked her if I could link to it here, and luckily she said yes. I did not, however, ask if I could post it here, so I am just going to link to her profile and her blog page. It is called Submissive's Creed...and it is WONDERFUL!
The Submissive's Creed
I hope you all go and read it...again, it is wonderful!
Thanks for reading!
Cassaundra (with a collar!)