I have been gone for a little over a week and I have missed you all so! Between illness, children, internet issues, and more, my presence here has been a little spotty. But I am back now and feel that there is something I need to address.
I have just responded to a comment on my post One Dom's Outlook with the longest comment I believe I have ever made on a blog in my life. While I was gone, someone from one of the forums that I am a member of made a comment on this post anonymously ( I KNEW I should have disabled anonymous comments!), which drives me crazy. If you feel strongly enough about a subject to comment on it, then you should be man (or woman) enough to stand behind it proudly, name and all! While many of us use nicknames or pseudonyms on the internet, at least we use them! Am I the only one who finds it cowardly to post argumentative, slightly inflammatory comments on someone's blog while hiding behind the "anonymous" banner?
However, that is the smallest thing about this comment that bothered me. The bigger issue is that he/she (I gathered the impression that it was a she) completely (perhaps intentionally?) overlooked the true meaning behind the post and simply attacked BD's statements about feminism. Therefore, after addressing it in my reply to him/her, I felt the need to discuss it here as well.
BD did make the statement that feminism/women's lib has robbed women of their place. Perhaps, due to the fact that he was originally addressing me in this conversation and not the entire world of the internet, he did not explain himself as fully as he would have had he known ahead of time that I was going to use his statements in my blog. I know where he was going with this statement, because he and I have had this discussion many times before. He is not in any way saying that every woman's place is in the home (or as dear anonymous stated, "under their husband's heel/belt."). He is stating that we have been robbed of the choice to be the kind of women our grandmothers were. Feminism has taught women that we are equal to (although sometimes it has gone as far as to say "better than") men in all areas of life and that we should fight tooth and nail to be able to do all things that men do. It has taught us that NOT wanting that is wrong. Perhaps this was not the original goal, but it has become the societal outcome. Before feminism got a toe-hold, women who wanted to work in typically male oriented fields were ridiculed and even assaulted for their desires. While there are a great number of women throughout history who have flaunted convention successfully, there are an equal number who have been devastatingly punished for their audacity. It seems the tables have turned, and now we are ridiculed if we don't want to be "the breadwinners, the Alpha Female, the ball-buster, because feminism has "given" us all the right to do that, along with the expectation that that is what we should want and something is wrong with us if we don't want it." (I put this in quotations, not because I didn't write it, but because it is a direct quote from my reply to the comment from anonymous.)
I believe in equality between the sexes, but I believe in it in the way it was seen in the middle ages. I don't know where this phrase comes from originally, because I have seen it in so many places, but it completely sums up how I feel about feminism and it's place in our society:
“Equal in dignity, different in function”
Women are not made identical to men. While I wholeheartedly accept the right of any woman in the world do go out and be whoever she wants to be, I do not personally want to be the woman who is known for being able to carry as heavy a load as the men she works with. I do not personally want to be known as the woman who has killed just as many enemy soldiers as her male counterparts. I do not personally want to be the woman who is called ruthless in business and has brokered just as many deals as the rest of the guys in the office. If you do want to be known as one of those women, congratulations on your strength, your bravery, your business acumen, and I truly and sincerely hope for you every happiness to be had in life. Can't you simply wish me the same, even though my goals are more historically feminine goals?